Rollin' six feet deep with my boys in the jeep
Downin' Red Bull; no time to sleep
Pull up to the block at eleven o' clock
Justin pulls me aside for his typical talk:

"There's a girl at this party with a dragon tattoo
She played with fire and kicked the hornet's nest, too
I bet she's in there drinkin' a tonic and gin
She reminds me of Hermione; I'm tryin' to slither in"

So he asked if I'd be willing to help him out
And since he's my boy, I said "No doubt"
But I didn't let him know that in the back of my mind
I had some suspicions that this girl would be mine

You have to understand that my game is too good
Girls flock to me like a woodchuck to wood
Walk in the door and I saw her on the left
The look in her eyes said: DTF

(UH-OH!)
This girl's lookin' pretty dog-gone fine
(UH-OH!)
Just for tonight, maybe she would be mine
(UH-OH!)
I am the worst wingman in the world
And the worst part is: I don't feel that bad

Rollin' on dubs all the way to the club
Justin's like: "Man, don't mess this up
There's plenty o' hunniez, and they're all lookin' tight
You don't have to screw me over like the other night"

We're gettin' our mack on, just sippin' some drinks
I look over at Justin, and I start to think
That the girl that he's with is giving me The Eye
I'm sorry, Justin; I'm a terrible guy...

(UH-OH!)
This same thing happens every single time
(UH-OH!)
The girls Justin likes are just way too fine
(UH-OH!)
I am the worst wingman in the world
And the worst part is: I don't feel that bad

Sorry man, I couldn't help it
Everybody makes mistakes
Sorry man, I couldn't tell if
There was any way to pump the brakes

Listen up, everybody; there's a problem I got
Because the women Justin chooses are just super-super hot
Even if I was the Best Man at his wedding
That still wouldn't stop me from getting his wife
into the bedding

Some people say that I'm a huge jerk
But I can't help but flirt; that's just how my brain works
I'm on these ladies like Ernie on Bert
I'm as sexy as sex, and I'm dirty as dirt

(UH-OH!)
I'm a monster and I never will be stopped
(UH-OH!)
Poor Justin knows that my game can't be topped
(UH-OH!)
I am the worst wingman in the world
And the worst part is: I don't feel that bad

UH-OH, I AM THE WORST WINGMAN IN THE WORLD
AND THE WORST PART IS: I DON'T FEEL THAT BAD

UH-OH